Readers consult with career expert Penelope Trunk for tips on balancing work and life.
Before my husband and I had kids, I had a managerial job in the financial sector… Now I’ve been out of the workforce for 8 years, and am thinking about going back, but I’ve lost track of my old contacts and am afraid that I would have to start back at square one. How can I get back on track with my career? Is it worth it, or should I just try something totally new?
Mary
Grand Rapids, Michigan
The key thing about your question is the last sentence: Is it worth is? Should I try something totally new?
Only you know that. What do you want to get out of work? What are your strengths and what is a job that caters to them? How long do you have before you have to make good money? What sort of lifestyle do you want? These are all questions you need to answer before you decide the way you’re going to re-enter the workforce.
It is not actually difficult for women who had careers before kids to re-enter the workforce. It’s a myth that it’s hard. The hard part is for women who never had careers in the first place. So since it’s not going to be that hard for you to actually get a job, you need to pay attention to what really is hard: Knowing what you want—from your work and your life. Then you’ll know what to aim for.
Penelope
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My boss likes to tell a lot of jokes at work. The problem is, a lot of his jokes are political, and I don’t agree with his views AT ALL. So far I’ve kept my mouth shut about it, but it’s hard. Is there any way to make it clear that I don’t like hearing that kind of thing that won’t put my career prospects at risk?
Suzanne
My first thought is keep your mouth shut and look for a new job. The reason you should keep your mouth shut is that your boss is not going to change, and your boss will hold anything you say against you. The reason you should job hunt is that if your boss is saying offensive political jokes to you, he’s saying it to other people and it’s limiting to his career and you don’t want him in charge of your career trajectory. It’s bad for your own career to be managed by a loser. If he’s a loser, look for a job.
I admit, though, that if the joke were racist or sexist, i probably would not keep my mouth shut. Maybe for sexism I’d stay quiet. Definitely not for racism. I dont’ have a good reason for this line that I draw. We each draw our own line. I could not live with myself if I didn’t say something about racism. I encounter so much sexism that I’d never have time to work if I spoke up every time. You need to draw your own ethical line, and speak up when your boss crosses it.
Finally, Carmen Van Kerckhove has an absolutely great post about how to respond to a racist joke. You should read it. Everyone should read it.
Penelope
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My 23-year-old son just graduated from college with a degree in English last summer. He just went backpacking through Asia, and now that he’s back home he’s talking about going to law school next fall, but this is the first time he’s ever mentioned it (he really wants to be a novelist), and he’s got a reputation for not following through on things. Our family is fairly well-off, and if it’s something he’s serious about, I’d like to help him… If he gets into law school, should I offer to pay the tuition? I don’t want to end up blowing thousands if it’s just another passing phase. How can I tell whether he’s really committed?
Brian
Sherman Oaks, California
How about telling him you won’t pay for law school, and if he goes all the way, and gets a job he’s happy with at the end, then you cough up the money? This means that every step of the way he’s deciding if the degree is worth the cost.
The problem is that it doesn’t sound like he’s asking the right questions about law school. For example, being a lawyer is mostly about sales and marketing—its a service industry profession—and someone who wants to write a novel is probabaly not the sales type.
Here are issues he should think about before he goes to law school:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/five-situations-when-you-shouldnt-go-to-graduate-school/
My hunch is that he’s worried that if he doesn’t go to law school, he has no idea waht else to do, and he wants to have a path and he hates feeling lost. But being lost is okay, and it’s part of a healthy adult life. You can encourage him to feel these difficult feelings. Here is some coaching in that department:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/15/stop-worrying-that-your-twentysomething-is-lost/
Penelope Trunk is the author of the book Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success. She is a career columnist at the Boston Globe and Yahoo Finance. Her syndicated column has run in more than 200 publications. Earlier, she was a software executive, and then she founded two companies. She has been through an IPO, an acquisition and a bankruptcy. Before that she played professional beach volleyball. She writes a popular blog on business advice at Brazen Careerist.