From Sherri Kruger of Zen Family Habits, here are some great steps to help you enjoy your relationship with your kids more.
As life gets more and more fast paced, we find ourselves thinking “where has the time gone?”. Technology is advancing at an incredible pace which frees up our time so that we can get more done on any given day. We are doing things at such a rapid pace that we simply just don’t have the time to take it all in.
When we are so focused on getting more and more done there is a tendency to overlook the small important moments of life.
Slowing down allows us to see what we may have previously missed. We really see those tiny, subtle details that are the beauty in everything. We gain a better appreciation, understanding and knowledge of things when we consciously slow down.
Our kids are no different. They will never be as young or as little as they are right this minute.
The number one rule to enjoying your kids more: Slow down. Enjoy them, take them in.
Here are some suggestions on how you can slow down and enjoy your kids more.
1. Do less. Despite your greatest intentions you are not super woman or superman you simply can not do it all. Pick and choose what you focus your attention on. Focus on things that absolutely need to get done. Realize that everything you do is a choice. Every additional task you take on means more time away from your kids. Make the conscious decision to reduce what you do and spend time on what really matters.
2. Go at a child’s pace. It’s easy to get wrapped up in end goals. Get dressed, pack the bag to leave the house, get to the shop. When we’re focused only on the outcome it’s easy to become frustrated, angry or annoyed. We miss out on the beauty of the journey. Relax and go at your child’s pace. Let them learn to dress themselves, it won’t be as quick as if you did it, but that’s not the point. Watch them. Watch how they try and figure things out. Arms in the arm holes, zippers are tricky, how do these buttons work? Watch their little face light up with pride when they finally do something for themselves. It’s amazing.
3. Unplug. When you’re spending time with your kids, you should be spending time with your kids. Unplug. Turn cell phones and blackberry’s to silent, off is even better. Turn off the TV and the computer so you’re not tempted by distractions. Being fully present with your kids is easy when you have no distractions and are playing their games.
4. Be present. This is an exercise in mindfulness. Being fully immersed in what you are doing in this particular moment. When you’re reading to your kids you are reading to your kids. Your mind is not wandering off thinking about what a horrible day you had at work today, or planning what you need to do tomorrow. You’re mindful of the fact that you are reading to your kids, how they are taking it all in, the way the room smells, and how the couch feels. This isn’t easy. It takes practice but is an important part of slowing down and enjoying life more.
5. Play. Play is an amazing way to connect with your children. Don’t worry about what you look like or what anyone else will say. Go with it. Have fun. Be silly. Listen to the giggles and full on laughter of your children. Take it outside as much as you can. The fresh air and sunshine can be so rejuvenating. Take time to play with your kids and you’ll be creating a special bond that will last a lifetime.
6. Adopt a “good enough” mentality. Don’t worry about everything being perfect, very few things ever are. Simply make progress towards what you need to accomplish and be happy with that. There are some days I look around and think “what did I do today the place is still a mess?” Well I did 4 things each 10 times as I have “help” along the way. Instead of getting uptight about it try accepting it. Remember that everything you do is a lesson for your kids. Let the laundry sit, let the dishes sit. They are only this little once.
By slowing down and being more conscious of how you spend your time with your kids you may find you are less frustrated, irritable and stressed. When these feelings are reduced you open up more room for a happier, more fulfilling and loving relationship with your child.
By Sherri Kruger from Zen Family Habits