If you want to communicate as well as possible, it helps to know how your conversation partner is feeling. Here are a few ways to get a sense of someone else's state of mind.
You thought your friend would be happy for you when you told her about your new promotion – but it turns out she just got dumped by text message, and your success story brings out the snarky beast inside of her.
Okay, so she shouldn’t take her troubles out on you – but give her a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and a few days to wallow before you try talking about anything besides what a jerk her ex-boyfriend is. In the meantime, you can learn how to avoid such predicaments in the future: For better communication, just master the art of mind reading.
Don’t worry, you don’t need a crystal ball for this – if you want to know when someone’s in a bad mood, here are a few simple ways to tell, according to Psychology Today.
Know who you’re dealing with. Even if you’re not particularly close to someone, you can get a much better sense of his emotions and thought processes if you deal with him over an extended period of time. If you want to be able to predict someone’s reaction, make an effort to chat with him, even briefly, as often as possible, and you’ll soon pick up his signals without a second thought.
Acknowledge the obvious. If your co-worker has been walking around in a huff all day long, don’t just wait for her to throw her negativity your way – call her on it. “You can solicit feedback from people by saying things like, ‘It sounds like what I’m hearing is that you’re angry—could that be right?” suggests Sara Hodges in Psychology Today.
Check for fake smiles. When someone’s not being sincere, it’s not hard to tell: The upper portion of her face won’t move when she smiles.
Chill out. If you’re acting tense, the other person will automatically clench up, too. Try to be as open and relaxed as possible, and hopefully, your conversational partner will echo your behavior.
Originally published December 12th, 2007.