The best way to stick to resolutions may be to ask someone else to make them for you.
It’s a new year, and you’ve most likely made a list of issues in your life to address and resolve. Chances are, it’s not too much different from the list you made last year—and only stuck to for a month or so before your resolve fell apart. So this year, how can you make sure that you follow through on your New Year’s resolutions?
Don’t make any. Instead, ask a loved one to set goals for you. “We all have blind spots, but the people we are intimate with can see through them,” David Palmiter, a couples therapist and professor of psychology at Marywood University, told the Wall Street Journal.
Couple Elizabeth and Michael Singer made resolutions for one another last year: Elizabeth asked Michael, who’d retired early, to start a new business. Michael asked Elizabeth to be more adventurous and stop criticizing herself. The resolutions have worked: Michael’s since launched his own tutoring company, and Elizabeth has gotten involved in a writing workshop and other activities.
Mother-and-son pair Karen and Ben Pratt have been making resolutions for one another for the past decade, and both claim that it’s substantially improved their relationship. “Sometimes you don’t know what you need to change regarding your relationships with those around you,” Ben told the Wall Street Journal.
It may feel scary asking for criticism, or telling someone else what you’d like him or her to change. But, if done with care and compassion, creating resolutions with a partner can help you gain insight on what you should change about yourself, and deepen your relationship with your partner.
For more details on how to get started, read the Wall Street Journal article.